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How To Be A Dad

  • My Wife Just Texted… #336
    Ah-HAH! No one likes a taste of their own medicine, especially when the medicine is actually pine sap and broken glass. ALL men know that the dreaded “we need to talk” is rarely (if ever) followed by something nice and safe like deciding on a pat…
    - 1 day ago, 16 Nov 17, 8:11pm -
  • Dad Jokes Hall of Shame (Work Life) – Part 9
    Most families are well acquainted with the pun grenades some father’s lob around the home, but did you ever stop to think what happens when they suit up and head out to work? The Dad Jokes don’t have to stop there! Coworkers and (hopefully not) c…
    - 8 days ago, 9 Nov 17, 7:01pm -
  • Military Hand Signals for Checking on a Sleeping Baby
    It can be risky when it’s just you around your sleeping baby, to check on them or simply sneaking about your daily routine. The stakes are so high if you wake them. Now add your partner into the mix, and it’s even trickier. So, the art of silent…
    - 14 days ago, 3 Nov 17, 10:14am -
  • My Wife Just Said… #335
    I’m not sure most parents realize or fully appreciate that they get to be mythological characters for their kids. We get to be things like Santa, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy and so forth. I’m actually kinda realizing it myself, that there a…
    - 16 days ago, 1 Nov 17, 10:50pm -
  • 35 Highly Awkward Drawings from Kids
    Pareidolia is the fancy word for when you see images in things – like a cloud shaped like a dragon or a face in the bark of a tree or a (ehem) something in some kid art. In kids’ drawings, sometimes you see some unintended, uh… images. Sure, th…
    - 21 days ago, 27 Oct 17, 10:00am -
  • You’re Just A Kid
    Fatherhood is a frying pan. Sometimes it cooks. Sometimes it clangs. It’s the past, present, and future sizzling away as we try to figure out what we’re making here. We toil over these strange recipes, unsure of the final meal. We turn up the hea…
    - 23 days ago, 25 Oct 17, 10:58pm -
  • My Wife Just Binged… #334
    My wife an I have our routines, on the weekend especially. I’ll cook dinner and we’ll all watch a family movie in the living room while we eat. Then, once the bedtime marathon has been run, my wife and I will put on something less G-rated and hav…
    - 25 days ago, 23 Oct 17, 5:33pm -
  • Video Surprise that Will Give Your Heart an Atomic Wedgie
    When I have to travel for work, I miss my family. No matter how busy I am, something just doesn’t feel right, constantly. Like your heart is wearing a pair of underwear backward. Additionally, the empty ache of separation is often made worse when I…
    - 31 days ago, 17 Oct 17, 9:42pm -
  • Saving a Bee
    Walking down my driveway the other afternoon, I noticed a honey bee struggling weakly on the pavement. This is nothing new, and my first thought was, as soon as my son comes home, he’ll figure out a way to get that bugger’s little ass dagger stuc…
    - 35 days ago, 13 Oct 17, 9:43pm -

Daddy Types

  • Notes From The Last Day Before School
    <p>"Libraries are the greatest buildings on earth...I want to learn about Plato."</p><p>"I have some good Play-doh recipes."</p><p>"Plato. The philosopher."</p>
    - 74 days ago, 4 Sep 17, 1:42pm -
  • Mrs. Stern's Lamborghini Is For Sale
    <p><img alt="mrs_stern_pink_espada.jpg" src="http://daddytypes.com/archive/mrs_stern_pink_espada.jpg" width="620" height="465" class="mt-image-center" style="text-align: center; display: block; margin: 0 auto 20px;" /></p><p>Mrs. Stern of Hyde Park…
    - 16 Jul 17, 2:38am -
  • SLEEP, Pleaded David Shrigley
    <p><img alt="david_shrigley_sleep.jpg" src="http://daddytypes.com/archive/david_shrigley_sleep.jpg" width="525" height="742" class="mt-image-center" style="text-align: center; display: block; margin: 0 auto 20px;" /><br /><small><em>Untitled</em>, 2…
    - 8 Jul 17, 12:08pm -
  • Moccasins Made From Care Bear Pelts, By Freshly Picked
    <p><img alt="fp-x-care-bear_colabo_shoes.jpg" src="http://daddytypes.com/archive/fp-x-care-bear_colabo_shoes.jpg" width="525" height="338" class="mt-image-center" style="text-align: center; display: block; margin: 0 auto 20px;" /></p><p>I see these…
    - 29 Jun 17, 2:03am -
  • Baby's First Mall Hangout
    <p><img alt="kid_porcupine_quill.jpg" src="http://daddytypes.com/archive/kid_porcupine_quill.jpg" width="500" height="667" class="mt-image-center" style="text-align: center; display: block; margin: 0 auto 20px;" /></p><p>Oh things are quiet around…
    - 16 May 17, 3:30pm -
  • Pour One Out For Baby Daddy IPA
    <blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-lang="en"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">enjoying the last batch of <a href="https://twitter.com/SpeakeasyBeer">@SpeakeasyBeer</a>, fixture of olde 90s SF <a href="https://t.co/JJHJu1QEIJ">pic.twitter.com/JJHJu1QEIJ</a>…
    - 12 Mar 17, 7:11pm -
  • Look At Where We Are. Look At Where We Started.
    <p><img alt="cakepop_emoji.png" src="http://daddytypes.com/archive/cakepop_emoji.png" width="320" height="160" class="mt-image-center" style="text-align: center; display: block; margin: 0 auto 20px;" /></p><p>One day you're checking into the hospit…
    - 23 Feb 17, 12:41pm -
  • Bambinooo By Cucula: Enzo Mari X Refugee Colabo
    <p><img alt="cucula_bambinooo_kids_bench.jpg" src="http://daddytypes.com/archive/cucula_bambinooo_kids_bench.jpg" width="500" height="500" class="mt-image-center" style="text-align: center; display: block; margin: 0 auto 20px;" /></p><p>In late 201…
    - 21 Feb 17, 2:59am -
  • Eliot Porter Photograph Of His Son
    <p><a href="http://daddytypes.com/archive/eliot_porter_baby_swann_723990.jpg"><img alt="eliot_porter_baby_swann_723990.jpg" src="http://daddytypes.com/assets_c/2017/02/eliot_porter_baby_swann_723990-thumb-525x688-15276.jpg" width="525" height="688" c…
    - 9 Feb 17, 11:43am -
  • The Top 10 Humidifiers To Get When Your 9yo Has Croup
    <p>It's 10 o'clock on Saturday night, and your 9yo is making agony faces like a telenovela diva and barking like a seal colony because she's got croup.</p><p>What are the best humidifiers to buy so your kid, and by extension, you and the rest of th…
    - 6 Feb 17, 4:59pm -

Ask Your Dad Blog

  • Guns and Silence
    Did you know you can hear your own heartbeat? You can. All the time. It’s loud too. Try this sometime. Find a very quiet place where you can be still. Close your eyes and listen. It might sound faint and far away, but it’s there and I promise, it…
    - 46 days ago, 3 Oct 17, 3:32am -
  • Horrible Moments in Parenting #3569
    Last week during dinner I was trying to ask Duchess about her day and she matter-of-factly told me that she didn't feel like talking. A few minutes later she had chewed her tortilla into the shape of a star and was remarkably proud of herself. "Loo…
    - 65 days ago, 13 Sep 17, 2:43pm -
  • 8 Positive Wonder Woman Toys - Dad Picks (Mom Edition)
    Hey everyone! Stevie here. I asked John if I could write this round-up because of how much I have loved Wonder Woman lately.Here's the thing, my daughter has always loved super heroes. For years she cycled through all her favorite Justice League ch…
    - 3 Jun 17, 9:04pm -
  • 10 Best Star Wars Toys for Kids - Dad Picks
    We're a Star Wars Family. It was one of my stipulations of becoming a family. I said, "Stevie, we can make tiny humans, but I need to be able to buy them lots of Star Wars stuff. She really wanted to make tiny humans, and moderately enjoyed Star Wars…
    - 28 May 17, 7:36pm -
  • Sleep and Hard Decisions
    Sometimes the sponsored posts are fun. I get to try something new, sync up with a bunch of cool people, and make a few bucks to keep this blog running. This one was not as fun. It brought up some hard decisions. It caused some difficult discussions.…
    - 28 Apr 17, 3:15pm -
  • Things We Tried - Do Your Part(ner) Follow Up!
    This post is sponsored by my long-time friends at Plum Organics.So a few weeks ago Stevie and I made a fun video and took the Plum Organics Pledge to Do Your Part(ner). The pledge wasn’t just to get jiggy with it (yes I just typed that) but also t…
    - 27 Feb 17, 10:39pm -
  • Stevie and John Talk about Sex, and Being Parents, and Kids, and Stuff [Video]
    This post is sponsored by my long-time friends at Plum Organics.So… yeah. A baby food brand asked me to create a post about sex. Why? (You and I both ask simultaneously?) Well, I believe the first reason is that sex means more babies and babies l…
    - 10 Feb 17, 3:54pm -
  • The King of Soup is Me
    I have partnered with Life of Dad and Idahoan® Foods for this campaign, but all opinions expressed above are unbiased and true. For instance, the soup is actually as good as I say it is. Seriously. It's exceed all my expectations.It's January an…
    - 26 Jan 17, 3:56pm -
  • In Defense of Santa
    The other day, a buddy of mine posted an article about how lying to your kids about Santa is bad for them. He agreed with the article. I disagreed. We're still friends. No big deal. BUT at one point in the conversation he said, "I still have yet to f…
    - 9 Dec 16, 5:52pm -
  • 3 Simple Reasons Why Voting is Important
    I wrote this in 2008. I still believe every word of it. Voting is important. It is our obligation. It is our privilege. It is what makes us American.Why I Vote ( Written November 2008) I voted early yesterday. I stood in line for forty-five minutes…
    - 31 Oct 16, 2:45pm -

Beta Dad

  • #BeTheSolution to End Domestic Violence
    I have a lot of disclosures to make. This is a sponsored post, which means, yes, I'm getting paid for it. Also, I have to disclose that I tried to back out of writing it because I didn't think I had anything to add to the conversation. I was supposed…
    - 12 Dec 14, 8:46pm -
  • SHE ALWAYS GETS EVERYTHING RIGHT!
    One day I went to the Celebration of Writing.It was today actually; but as I learned at the event, good stories usually start with "One day..."The participants were the 26 kids in my girls' kindergarten class. They had been working on writing and…
    - 14 Nov 14, 8:15am -
  • Champagne Girls!
    I wrote something for the New York Times today, and they called me a blogger. So here I am, posting something on my blog!This pretty much explains everything about my kids these days.The kids are in kindergarten now, and loving it. We did…
    - 31 Oct 14, 3:23pm -
  • Talking about Death and Asking for Help
    In a few hours, my wife and I are meeting with a lawyer to sign the final version of the living will we set up for our kids. A couple weeks ago, we sat down in a comfy law office and hashed out the details of who would take care of our kids, our medi…
    - 27 Jun 14, 3:22pm -
  • Good Morning, Five-Year-Olds
    My mom still calls my sisters and me on the eves of our respective birthdays to say, "Goodnight, x-year-old." Then the next day, she calls again and says, "Good morning x+1-year-old!" She's been doing that since before I was born, I think. But she di…
    - 25 Jun 14, 8:44pm -
  • The Mother's Day Father's Day Birthday Post.
    There is so much stuff I've meant to write here, but I just can't seem to get around to it. I've been doing quite a bit of freelancing, and carpentry, and parenting, and volunteer stuff for the school where the girls will go to kindergarten next year…
    - 10 Jun 14, 5:38pm -
  • Remember Four and Three Quarters
    We're having good days these days; some of them back-to-back.It's a jinx to mention this, I know;But a curse to forgetWe've had self-control,Backed away from the bitter brink,Negotiated like neighborly nation states.It's a sweet spot.Even th…
    - 21 Mar 14, 8:50am -
  • Just in case you thought I was dead
    Hi! I'm not dead! I've been really busy building stuff and doing kid stuff, and doing some writing, but not so much in this space. Life is full and rich and interesting and dizzying. This just occurred to me: Kids, like grownups, are sometimes inco…
    - 5 Mar 14, 6:32pm -
  • The Time I Took My Daughters to Hooters
    I had hoped I would be able to swing by my house before going to Hooters.  I had been building cabinets all day and didn't really want to show up in grungy work clothes, my face and arms smeared with a paste of sweat and sawdust.  But traffic was b…
    - 8 Jan 14, 3:00pm -
  • That's Not Fair: Teaching Kids to Share
    This was first published in San Diego Uptown News********  “MADDY’S NOT SHARING!”  This tearful, gasping lament regularly resounds through our house.The counteraccusation--“LIVVY’S STEALING MY STUFF!”--inevitably follo…
    - 3 Jan 14, 10:44pm -